What’s it like to live ADHD?

     For me it’s never being able to listen for long periods of time & sit still longer than 5 minutes. I feel so antsy. I just can’t sit still. & I talk so fast nobody can understand me. My thoughts are all cluttered together. Like when I talk I’ll be talking about one thing & then I’m talking about something that isn’t even close to the first thing I was talking about. My thoughts are all over the place. I talk loud & I don’t even notice it. My moods are either happy or sad. I can’t think at all. I’ll cry Because I don’t understand what people want from me. It could be a simple question but my mind is racing & I’ll just get upset & cry. I am so hyper during the day I’ll be tired at 4:30 & fall asleep. I have uncontrollable actions. I won’t think before I say or do something. I find everything funny at school & I Don’t Even Know why but I do. When I try to calm myself down I end up making myself upset. Because I think why couldn’t have I been normal or why do I have to have ADHD? But to prevent all that. I take a daily dosage. 

      When I take my pills I’m still hyper till they kick in. When they kick in. I am calm. I can sit longer but it’s still hard to sit. I don’t talk as fast. But my thoughts are still cluttered. But not as bad. My moods are better. I don’t cry as much. But I still cry Because I get so frustrated with myself. But yah everyone gets frustrated with themselves. But for me it’s Different. I get frustrated with myself. When I can’t figure out what other people want from me. Or when I’m the last one to finish something. Because everyone Is waiting on me. Or I rush thru something Because I can’t sit still anymore. It’s hard but I learn to never give up. Since I am year behind in school. 

      In grade four, I had the worst grades. That year I couldn’t listen or anything. When I think back to that year I remember crying so much. For no reason or Because of something stupid. I had mood swings. I was either to happy & then I would go to crying in matter of Seconds. I didn’t understand why kids didn’t like me. I had very few friends. But I was on & off friends with them Because nobody really wanted to be around me. I also was extremely uncontrollable. I would get in fights with other kids. Because I didn’t like what they said. I never understood the fact that I couldn’t fight other kids. But then again I never thought I was ever doing something wrong as strange at it sounds but I thought I was doing the right thing. But when I started taking pills the next year I knew it was wrong. My life back then was a mess. I was always In trouble. For not listening. Moving around when I wasn’t supposed to. Never finishing anything. I was failing everything Badly. I had Lower than average grades. No matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t do it. But at he end of the year my parents saw my report card & knew something was wrong.  

     I seen a doctor that summer & they diagnosed me with ADHD. Since then I’ve just kept it to myself & close friends that had me stay the night or come to my place. I didn’t want anyone knowing Because I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be normal. But it’s took seven years to finally except the fact that I have ADHD. Since I’ve been crowned Miss Teenage Eastman, I have been telling people that I do have ADHD. I want to talk about it & let other kids they are not alone in this. Because when I was told I had ADHD I thought I was the only one. I never wanted to take my pills Because I thought is was a lie. But it’s not. I wanted to live my life without taking pills every single day. But I can’t, I would be upset & crying a lot if I didn’t take my pills. I would be messed up & stressed out. I am open to talking about what it’s like to live with ADHD, & my struggles with it. If anyone out there has more questions for me. You can email me at

 missteeneastman2015@gmail.com 

Thank you for reading. 
I will write more about ADHD but I’ve been writing this for along time. 

Written by: Carrington

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